Julie here. I just couldn’t write about the symptoms… I don’t want to think about that happening to my grandfather, my dad, or (maybe worst of all) me! I’m not strong enough to consider that – David is the one who can distance himself from bad stuff like this. Now we’re down to square one, albeit with more information. Do I get the test? I think I have a good reason to be concerned about having the gene – my dad was one of two children so, just by odds, either he has it or my aunt has it. Also, I was one of two kids so either I have it or my sister has it, based on the ratios (assuming that my dad has it, of course), so there’s a 1 in 4 chance that I have it given that my grandfather had it.
Do I tell my dad if he has it, if I, you know, have it? Do I have the right to get the test if he absolutely doesn’t want to know his status? If I have the gene, then that’s a pretty good sign that he has it too, so how do I live my life knowing that soon his degeneracy is coming? I’m sure I’d spill somehow, and that just wouldn’t be good.
If I have the disease gene, what’s the chance that it’s bad? Can I start a family? The chances of me passing it on to a kid is about half, so is it worth it to start a family even if I have the disease? Maybe I can get away with having one child, but what if it’s fraternal twins and one has the disease? It’s also hard because I want to have kids at least twice… I want my kids to know what it’s like to have an older and a younger sibling (although maybe not at the same time… middle children get a bad rap.)
As for other options, I think that if I do have Huntington’s, I could commit suicide…
…No, I’m just kidding. I’m not a quitter.
But really, I could adopt – but again, it’s this… thing… inside me that WANTS a thing inside me, growing and developing because of ME (and David).
It’s going to be a tough decision, but at this point I’m sort of leaning towards getting the test.
